I’ve been thinking a lot about the mind and the body (probably because I am reading this guy’s book on the brain and phantom limbs). Lately I have been having trouble running. I know I have some what of a deadline coming up - by March 24th I need to be able to run 13.2 miles. Usually when I’m running, I don’t have a set distance. In the summer time I keep adding more and more distance on until I can run about 8 miles comfortably. But I hardly even notice the change. Now, on the tredmill, I can hardly do two miles. It’s only until my body and mind can be in sync with each other: my body has to forget my mind’s frustrations, and my mind has to convince my body to get over limitations.
On drugs and states of being
Last night I was seriously contemplating about the illegal status of drugs. What if drugs were in fact a mind-altering substance that brought us to a higher level of being? I recognize the issues with addiction and possible health issues. Yet, isn’t everything capable of being a form of unhealthy addiction? Some of which have worse health impacts than others - ie, over or under eating, alcohol, tobacco products, the list can go on. I can only talk from a qualitative point of view. Naturally, because I think I am a pretty respectable and safe person, I haven’t seen some of the uglier side of drugs. I suppose I just wonder how anyone can limit what we choose to put into our bodies and expand our minds with.
It’s strange that I have this somewhat open mind to the possibility of taking drugs. (I should probably qualify that when I imagine drug taking experiences, I hope that they are safe and well controlled experiences. I know not everyone is taking drugs for the “right” reason. But neither are people writing, acting, banking, running, learning for the right reasons. Anything can be a destructive decision.) Because I myself am a recovering alcoholic. I haven’t drank in almost three and a half years. My feelings toward addiction are a mix of personal reflection and reading up on scientific studies. I feel extremely saddened when I see someone who clearly has an addiction to any substance. Perhaps it’s because it’s no longer “fun.” More importantly, because addition is greater than one person putting a substance in their body - it affects a wide web of people. As much as I think we can use substances to bring ourselves to either a higher state of being or just a different state of being, substances can diminish us from what is human. They can bring us to the lowest state of humanity, and sometimes, an uglier side of humanity. I think about myself, some of the people I’ve seen on the street who are clearly in need of help, and people I have had (or lost) in my life.
I suppose I can be very misguided when thinking about substances and states of being. I don’t know all the chemical after effects of consumption. Nor, have I looked into the legal reasonings for criminalization of substances. Maybe I am a sheltered optimist. But, contemplating the legality of drugs last night left me confused. I am a strong advocate for achieving higher states of being through meditation, sobriety, living in the moment, and finding love/peace. Yet, I also wonder if we can feel as if we can either get closer to god or understand our humanity/life more through safe drug consumption. I have glossed over many of the negatives from both sides - legalizing and the criminalization of drugs. But for now, I’m ok with that.
On sexuality and teenagers
Last night I went to an Avicii concert. I was told ahead of time to wear something neon. If you know me, you know that my color pallet for clothes is pretty neutral. I hadn’t expected to see what I saw last night. Let me first preface myself with saying two things: first, I think clothing can be used as a form of expression, especially in a concert setting; second, I am a feminist (I really hate what that word connotes) and I believe women can wear what they want, and everyone no matter what gender, is free to express their sexuality. So, what was it that somewhat freaked me out about what the majority of the females in the audience wore? Mostly what I saw was bikini tops, sparkly pacifiers, short-shorts, underwear, lingere, see-through-dresses, and neon ripped clothing exposing everything. At first, I thought, “Whatever, to each their own. At least they are having fun.” But then I realized, when the lights would shine on some particularly scant clothed women, that these were not women, they were girls. Straight up, 16 year old girls in underwear.
Why was I so bothered? Was it that several of them asked me, “Are you rolling, too?” (And I responded, “no.” If only they knew I don’t do drugs or drink)? No, drugs are a part of concert culture and so many people experiment at a young age. To me, I think I was disturbed because it appeared that wearing these clothes were expected and assumed. The idea of a techno concert has an aura of 90s rave kid culture — so wearing bizarre assortments of day-glo lights and neon rainbows is OK (I guess.) I didn’t talk to any of the girls, I don’t know their story. But, I remember my own thoughts when I was 16 and insecure and dumb. I used to kid myself and think that I was OK with dressing skanky (is there a more academic word for ‘skanky?!’). But, in fact it was never for me. It was to get attention from men. It was what I thought I had to do.
And this is such a strange idea. I can’t really wrap my head around it. Because not only was it hurting me, but it’s teaching young males a really horrible lesson. It’s a two-way street of unhealthy sexual expression. It’s teaching males that young girls want to be highly sexualized (and nothing more, no intimacy…). One guy I saw had a shirt that said “PARTY WITH SLUTS.” That’s one guy out of hundreds, but to me it showed how we make oversexualizing teenage girls, which is a really weird practice, deemed OK. You might think I’m jumping to conclusions. Fine, whatever. But, our society is so repressed sexually. All I can leave you is with an analogy a dear friend of mine came up with. “Sexuality in America is repressed. We push it down and don’t allow it to come out naturally. Think of sexuality as a beach ball. A beach ball will naturally float on water. When we push the ball below the water, all it wants to do is push as hard as possible to get back to the surface. When we finally stop pushing it shoots out, almost violently.“
What about uncomfortable sex scenes?
(Source: jennilee)
