Listening to Bright Eyes on a cloudy and cold Wednesday feels so appropriate. I’ve been biking to and from work and it starts my day in such a good way. I peddle up some slight inclines (if I were still in Minnesota, the hills would be daunting) and then roll down bike trails, going faster than some cars. I like seeing the passing scenery and telling myself that I’m not allowed to stop peddling. Coming home is very difficult. I have to climb uphill most of the trip. About 3 miles of the 4.6 mile ride back is all uphill/incline. But, so far I am able to go just a little more each time. Hopefully one day I’ll be able to make it up the biggest hill without stopping.
I’m glad I start off my days right (stretching, balanced breakfast, good coffee, biking) because my dreams lately have made me wake up upset. All of them include my ex-boyfriend, or ex-friend, or made up characters who irritate me. It’s hard because all I want is some rest from my thoughts. I don’t want to think about “what if’s” or “what are they doing now” or “are they over me” or any of those horrible spiraling negative thoughts. But, these ideas infiltrate my mind at night and I act out all those scenarios.
I guess it’s all balancing out — my body is changing and adapting to the hills of Washington. And my mind… it’s going through what it has to go through.